“Perfectionism is a bitch” (as I just went back and edited that sentence almost taking the curse word out).
How many of you can agree with that statement?
I’m sure many of you reading this that you just mentally flung your hands in the air or actually physically raised your hand. I did both.
What is perfectionism?
It’s that ugly monster that is coming full speed ahead in your rear view mirror to side swipe you while you’re on your path of life doing your best.
It’s the knee-jerk reaction to remove a curse word from a sentence because you’re worried about judgement.
Perfectionism is an endless report card of accomplishments, looks, goals, what-if’s , promotions, more money, more fame, more skewing of reality.
Perfectionism has kept me from writing this blog for days, for launching this website for months, and for embracing who I really am, for years. I’m here to tell you, it can be beaten.
My entire life, I have played the comparison game to others. Don’t get me wrong, I have had and continue to still have a damn good life, however, who doesn’t compare themselves to others at some point?
When I was little, why was my hair curly and not straight like my best friends? In middle school, why doesn’t my crush like me back? What’s wrong with me? Playing high school volleyball, why can’t I serve like she can? In college, why don’t I understand this class like everyone else?
More recently scrolling through social media, why can’t I travel for a living like this ‘perfect 5 ‘7 tall blonde who has that perfect tan? Why can’t I be a successful international speaker?
Why don’t I have a best selling book? Why don’t I have pore less skin? Why why why.
I’ll tell you why.
Because my life, is my life.
There is no reason why I can’t be any of those things (except pore less skin, that’s just not scientifically possible).
I had a miraculous last few years of my life. If you know me, and I’ll get into the details later in another post so you can get to know me, but for now, one may say that from 2014-2017 was my own personal shit show.
It seemed like potholes were just showing up after an earthquake on my path and I kept tripping over them.
I cried, I fought, I blamed others, blamed myself, blamed my job etc.
It wasn’t up until late 2018 that I finally decided to kick my perfection drenched, inner-critic out the door.
Of course this happened over night and I woke up and everything was fine.
THINK AGAIN, SIS.
This took years of practice, patience, struggle, joy, hard conversations, tough decisions, celebrations, you name it, I felt it.
I felt it.
Really take that sentence in.
Allow yourself to feel. Give yourself space to feel your feelings and really dig in and process your happiness, joy, celebrations, grief, anger, etc. When you start to do this, I promise you you will start taking down your inner critic piece by piece.
I cannot explain the amount of joy I have felt each day in one way or another since I don’t worry about being someone else’s definition of “perfect”.
I am much more mindful of existing, carry myself confidently, speak authentically, allow myself to say no to things that don’t bring me joy, am selfish with my time and the people I let into my life and graceful with the ones who exit.
I say all of this to you to simply let you know that it’s OK to be exactly where you are and who you are right now.
Because you are perfect the way you are.
Take a moment today to look yourself in the mirror.
When you do, be kind, proud, and easy on yourself. This is your life, you’ve earned moments of joy, passion, peace, and celebration of self!